Astronomy, Bitches!

I’m a bit of an amateur astronomer and there won’t be a night that goes by that I’m not sitting under the stars (if they’re out), spotting planets. I’ve been doing this for a while now and have found out some handy tips.

I find it helpful to go out on the roof and find a spot which doesn’t have direct light coming from it. The light shining out of your arsehole should be covered and preferably plugged with cement. Even if you’re in a residential area, you can still get a good bit of spotting done, provided you find a spot which has no street lights (or any direct light coming from any source preferably).

If you’re a smoker like me, cover up your eyes from the light coming off the cigarette (or whatever kind of wacky backy you’re into, man, like totally) so that when you light up and/or take a drag your eyes don’t loose their darkness vision.

Candles should also be avoided. When you’re out and about with your missus you can be tempted to make it more romantic this way. Don’t! The bitch can wait. What are you, a pussy? This is astronomy we’re talking about.

I use a number of resources to find my way around the sky. One is a really handy and above all free iPhone/iPauper Touch app which shows you the positions of the planet and stars in a horizon to horizon 3D environment. Look for it, it’s called ‘Planets’. The same app also shows the time of night when they’ll be visible and gives you a Google Earth type globe to see where the day/night border is. An added bonus is that you don’t look like a twat because nobody can see your iPhone. Make sure to turn the brightness right down though. Many a time I’ve been blinded by the screen’s luminescence and promptly fallen off the roof.

I tend to steer clear of software like google earth but one bit of software I do like is stellarium, which is an open source developed night sky app. I tried the Microsoft Silverlight and the Google Earth ones, but they don’t offer a good ground-view. And it’s FREE! Check out this screenshot from the program.

Looks cool, doesn’t it?

My last tip would be to watch Youtube channels like The Sky This Week. There’s no program comparable which deals of England or Europe because the English are a bunch of lazy cunts and expect it to rain anyway but it’s worth a watch anyway to get an idea of general events going on around you in the sky.

Here’s a video of theirs.

Well worth it isn’t it. Now, I’ll be off to have a smoke (covering it up as I observe the sky above – of course).

Have a good night!

Coughlan666′s question about Sharia Law gets an unexpected answer from Google Ads.

Google Ads answer back these days.

See Coughlan’s video here

It’s Sunday and since it’s the day before everyone goes to work I thought I’d post a nice relaxing video of Japs killing each other to help you guys wile away the remaining time of your weekend in a pleasant way. Here’s a copy of the movie ‘BATORU ROWAIARU’ for you – a great movie of teens killing one another in an island-based deathmatch.

Forty-two delinquent students, three days, one deserted Island: welcome to Battle Royale. A group of delinquent students from a Japanese high school have been forced by legislation to compete in a new forum of reality television.The students are each given a bag with a randomly selected weapon and a few rations of food and water and sent off to kill each other in a no-holds-barred (with a few minor rules) game to the death, which means that the students have three days to kill each other until one survives–or they all die.
– IMDB

Last night I was typing things into Google and I came across a funny thing when I typed in ‘in france’. The suggestions Google gives for recent and popular searches made me laugh and I started looking up other countries. Some are funny, some were weird and others downright disturbing.

Here’s what I got…

France:

Pretty Disturbing.

Sweden:

Surprising.

Switzerland:

Just plain weird.

England:

Scary.

China:

Interesting.

Russia:

Funny.

If you find any entries in Google for your countries, let us know.