Europeans prefer Obama over McCain

Europeans want Obama over McCain.  Why you ask? Here’s a top 10 list of reasons for you to mull over…

10. McCain uses the Vietnam war as a badge of honor

The Vietnam war wasn’t a pleasant war for anyone involved. Portraying yourself as a hero when you’ve taken part in one of the worst atrocities of the late 20th century rubs people in Europe up the wrong way. We tend to think the Vietnamese won the war and are happier for it. McCain seems to want to use his P.O.W. time as a badge of honor. Bad move, chum. Bad move.

9. Obama promises change in the political system Europeans have lost faith in completely

After 8 years of Bush’s mismanagement of the United States and Europeans seeing the catastrophe which is the U.S.’s economy and domestic policy (Katrina anyone?) unfold Europeans are tired of having to excuse the United States as a retarded child in a candy store.

Sarah Palin is a Creationist

8. McCain has chosen a creationist noob to be his V.P.

Europeans are (mostly) forward thinking and respect the findings of scientists and professionals. We know that evolution is real because it’s a SCIENTIFIC THEORY (a theory is a logically self-consistent model or framework for describing the behavior of a related set of natural or social phenomena. It originates from or is supported by rigorous observations in the natural world, or by experimental evidence), whereas creationism is definitely not. We also believe that having a woman who believes that there will be an apocalypse (and possibly one she can speed on its way) is a bad choice as V.P. We like realists. She isn’t one of those, now, is she? Also, what would happen if McCain died? President Palin? Europeans wouldn’t be able to accept that easily.

7. Obama has a more conciliatory stance towards Cuba and Iran.

Europeans are tired of being the ‘man in the middle’ between a recalcitrant U.S. foreign policy and an increasingly conciliatory ‘enemy’. Europeans have started up trade with Cuba and are at the forefront in getting Iran to the negotiating table time and again because the ‘world’s only superpower’ is picking its nose and flicking the buggers at the opposition.

6. Sarah Palin is against abortion

Europeans have long ago seen the need for abortion in everyday society. This is how you keep the population down and single mothers protected (and having a life). The choice should be made by the people involved and not the government. Trying to reduce the effect of government on every day life (which is what Republicans advocate) and then turning around and saying they want to control the way you live yours smacks of hypocricy.

5. Obama is for pulling troops out of Iraq

The second gulf war has always been seen as a travesty of statecraft by the Europeans. They’re tired of having to apologise on behalf of the U.S. It’s like having a retarded brother who smears shit on your grandmother’s newly painted walls. Obama looks like he’s going to do something against that, finally.

McCain/Palin on the environment

4. McCain / Palin are untrustworthy on environmental issues.

Europeans care a lot about the environment. It’s a major political issue. This doesn’t seem to be the case in the U.S.A. And that while the U.S.A. is the biggest consumer of natural resources in the world. This, to ordinary European citizens is like pissing into the village drinking well. It makes everyone in the village sick and leaves a bad taste in your mouth too.

3. Europeans care about their friends, the American people.

Every country in Europe has some form of universal healthcare sponsored by the government. This has historically worked out well because it keeps the working population on their feet and make sure everyone has a good chance to stay alive. Not having it seems like the country (which is supposed to be an entity that takes care of its inhabitants by levying taxes and spending this for the good of the people) is broken. Having Democrats in power will most likely mean that the American people will be given the opportunity to have universal healthcare. We don’t want to see starving kids on U.S. streets or have to chip in again when something goes drastically wrong (Katrina again, my friends). With McCain/Palin in power this would never be possible.

McCain and Bush.. too alike.

2. McCain is seen as more of the same old Bush doctrine.

Europeans hate Bush for his divisive unilateral actions in Iraq and across the world (just look at the response received from his Axis of evil speech, Missile shields controversy, etc). It’s not nice to ignore the opinions of your friends. McCain is seen as the continuation of that introvert U.S. me-me-me policy of Bush. Especially considering Sarah Palin’s lack of foreign policy experience. Obama on the other hand is seen as much more open to the opinions of his allies.

1. Obama looks more presidential.

Obama looks and talks like a statesman. McCain does not. When Obama went to Germany he pulled crowds of over 200000, most of whom were thrilled with his performance. McCain? Not likely. McCain looks like the old drunk in the back of the pub who everyone ignores because he comes up with some crazy shit every time he opens his waffle (pun definitely intended). Obama might be young, but he has heart and he has the spirit necessary to make the changes we deem to be long overdue. And we Europeans wouldn’t mind working with him.

Obama the Statesman

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