This article will explore stereotypes across the known world from a European perspective. Of course no stereotype hunt would be complete without first looking at ourselves as Europeans and what stereotypes we have made about each other. Some of them may not be accurate or even true, but this is what I found out.

We’ve already talked about the Hungarians.

Today we shall start with the Finns. They deserve the ridicule.

Stereotypes of the Finnish

1. They’re always in a sauna!

Every Finn has a personal sauna. Consequently sweaty naked men and women roam the frosty countryside, scaring innocent tourists.

2. Every Finn has an anti-aircraft gun in his yard!

The Finns hate the Russians. Russians have tried to steal their saunas. This is why every Finnish family has an anti-aircraft gun in his yard or on top of his sauna.

3. All Finns know how to tango!

It’s in their blood. Don’t ask them how it got there. They don’t know. Probably a left-over STD from the 60s when love was free and alcohol was as yet untaxed.

4. They compete with the Russians for vodka!

Every time the Finns shoot down a Russian plane, they steal its vodka supply and tango until dawn to celebrate. To keep this tradition current and topical the Finnish government bans all normal alcohol sales and taxes it to hell.

5. Santa lives there!

Santa needs cheap labour that knows its gadgets. Enter the elves of Lapland. Santa is responsible for 40% of Finlands exports.

6. They eat their Reindeer!

Sorry. No retirement home for Rudolph. Life is hard in the Arctic Circle. The Finns hunt and kill their closest cousins for food.

7. Young Finns are lost to the Internet!

Young Finnish rebels have taken to the Internet since 1970 to escape the reality of daily life in Finland under Santa’s boot. As the inventors of Linux and Nokia they are widely shunned in regular Suomi-Santa-society. This disillusioned mass is responsible for 23% of all blogs world wide.

8. Finns win at Eurovision by appearing in public without makeup!

The Finnish only ever win the Eurovision song contest if they take their masks off. After a 40 year losing streak of 0 points every year Finnish men finally took their masks off in public out of frustration and played some decent music. This shocked everyone into voting for them.

9. The Language!

Finnish language can only be spoken in a freezer at -50°C or by having your jaw anaesthetized before speaking. This numbs the tongue enough to be able to pronounce the long words with double consonants.

That’s about it for now.

More on a different deserving people next time!

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